DateInBedDateInBedHaving a hard time passing the first date? Maybe you are making mistakes you could easily avoid. Get to know what are the 10 most common date mistakes, and the best ways to avoid them.
Usually, a date doesn’t go well for a limited number of reasons. It is rare to have a horrible date, but quite common to have a date that was all right but not extraordinary. To make sure your date goes well, you should avoid at all costs these simple mistakes. Some of them are classic, yet we still do them.
In order to have a real connection during a first date, you have to be present to the other person, yet not overly seeking attention. The first impression you leave on your date will determine whether they want to follow with a second date or not. It won’t determine your general love life though, so relax and enjoy this first date.
1. Neglecting your appearance.
Whether you like it or not, we judge people by their appearance in a matter of seconds. Your date will be more inclined to want to get to know you if you present yourself in a flattering way. Instead of seeing this negatively, take advantage of it. This mistake is easy to avoid and essential to take in account.
Dress in nice and clean clothes, but don’t be too much either. Pick an outfit that is flattering, and in which you feel comfortable. You should dress nicely for a first date but not be overdressed either, as it can be awkward.
2. Being late.
Being on time on a date shows you respect the other person. It shows you’ve put thought into taking the measures to be on time. Even if people say they don’t mind waiting for you, they would of course prefer it if you were on time and this will impact their perception of you. Being on time also shows you are trustworthy.
This quality is very important for a date, as you are seeking for a connection with the other person. It can also be stressful to wait for someone in these circumstances, and stressing out people won’t make the date go well.
3. Trying too much to impress your date.
If you want to impress your date and draw their attention, don’t show off. Your date will be genuinely interested in you naturally. You will come off as pretentious if you start bragging about your material possessions or status in life. Unless your date is a gold digger, this is not information that is particularly sought after.
If you talk honestly about themes you are passionate about, your date will probably be interested in you without having to make too much effort. You want your date to be interested in you, for who you truly are. They will realize quite fast if the image you gave them on the first date was fake or not.
4. Talking too much.
We usually do this without noticing it: we start talking about something and get lost in our thoughts. This is all right with a friend you know, but you should be careful not to do it too much with someone you are going on a date with. Be considerate of the other person you are meeting. Don’t just talk about yourself for long periods of time or the conversation will just turn into a monologue.
You came to get to know your date, not to sell yourself. Talking too much is a major turnoff as it makes you seem like you are self-absorbed. It’s through a dynamic conversation that you will create a good rapport. By giving space to others to express themselves, you let them know you appreciate them and make them feel more important.
6. Trying too hard.
This mistake is on the opposite of the spectrum of wanting to impress too much. Don’t try too hard to be likable, by being too nice, too agreeable. Don’t undermine yourself by behaving as a servant. Your date will definitely appreciate it if you are thoughtful, but don’t lose your character. You don’t have to justify yourself too much about your actions. This kind of behavior unfortunately only reflects low self-esteem. Your date wants to know your true opinions, whether they go in their way or not. On the other hand, don’t boast and appear too full of yourself, it’s all a question of balance.
7. Having a negative attitude.
Nobody likes being around people that constantly complain. They might feel they have a good reason to do so, but it is not enjoyable. You want your date to have a memorable time with you and to renew the experience. We all have our problems, but try to concentrate on the present moment you are with your date.
Leave your personal issues out of your first date, unless they refer to them in some way. Even so, talk about them without rambling. Be open about yourself but don’t show all of your cards either. You have time to get to know your date, you don’t have to list all of your flaws or characteristics.
8. Talking about your exes.
This happens way too often. You shouldn’t refer to your ex when you go on your first date for a number of reasons. Usually, people will speak about their ex to point out problems, or how bad the relationship was. Even if you joke about it, we wouldn’t recommend it. Talking about your exe can show how much you are still attached to them.
You probably don’t want your date to believe you are still in love with someone else while you are meeting them. They will feel as if they were just filling up an empty space. This kind of conversation can also create a sentiment of comparison. It can also reveal your past bad behaviors, and how you fail relationships in general. You want your date to have a positive image of how you handle your life in general, including your exes.
9. Poor manners.
Don’t show disrespect to others in front of your date. This can happen in the context of a dinner out, or at any place where there are service people. Imagine if everything was going well with your date, but suddenly they talk to the waiter and start to be rude to them. It will feel weird to come back to your initial conversation `: you won’t see them the same way. This should also be applied to you. Don’t be rude to any service people, even if you aren’t satisfied with your food. You can share your concerns in a polite manner if you think it is needed. Being overly critical or a snob isn’t appealing to anyone.
10. Being too nerdy.
This can happen most probably more after the date than during the date. If you want to meet your date again, don’t flood them with messages. This will appear as too needy and puts pressure on people. Your date may also want to go on a second date, but not if you behave this way.
Don’t insist too much if they don’t answer your messages, or if they take a lot of time replying. Don’t take it personally if they don’t respond as fast as you. Your date isn’t at your disposal. We have different ways of communicating, and it can be very overwhelming to receive too many messages and having to reply to all of them. Talking to you shouldn’t feel like a chore: your date should be happy or a bit excited to receive your message.
Read full articles, get tips, tools and resources for living and loving with more self-esteem plus the latest updates from the blog and weekly newsletter