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Dating apps have made dating way more easy and accessible to everyone. At least it seems like it. With the emergence of the pandemic, there’s also been a boom in the use of dating apps. We may have underestimated the importance of public spaces in dating. Dating apps have been very useful in these times where public events don’t occur anymore. In times where it is not encouraged to even engage with strangers, dating in real life has become almost impossible. It is the perfect timing to step up your dating game.
Dating with apps has made the dating process way faster, but it doesn’t mean you are good at it. In fact, you are probably making one of these mistakes if you are being honest to yourself. Let’s see what are the 10 things you need to stop doing on dating apps, but most importantly how to prevent you from doing them.
The following mistakes are found very commonly if you look at people’s profiles. This doesn’t mean you should continue doing them. If you want to stand out of the crowd, take a little bit of time to modify your profile once and for all. A small difference goes a long way, and you will notice the difference quite fast.
There is nothing more dull and boring than a conversation that starts with ‘hey’. This not only reveals nothing of your personality, it reveals how boring and unimaginative you are. Anyone can just say ‘Hello, how are you doing’, and it gets tiring very quickly. There is nothing wrong with greeting with a hello of course, but don’t limit yourself to just saying that. Many people won’t even bother messaging you back if you only say ‘hey’.
Don’t use copy-paste messages either, or corny pick-up lines. If you want to stand out from others, show you are actually interested in this particular person. Show them you’ve read their profile, by asking a question about something in their bio or their photos for example.
You may think nobody reads your bio, but you are wrong. You may have seen people actually putting as their bio ‘’Nobody will read this’’. That is probably the worst kind of bio you could put on your profile. It shows that you are the kind of person that is only interested in looks, and won’t even make the effort to read the other person’s bio. Your bio doesn’t have to be very long or complicated to do. It should stay short and sweet, but you should definitely have one.
Of course, looks are very important on dating apps but they aren’t everything. Your bio should reveal authentic elements about your person. Having a blank personality isn’t a good place to start with. Some people won’t mind and you will have some matches even with a blank bio, but you should ask yourself if you really want to match with these kinds of people too. It is easier to pick up a conversation with someone that has a bio. Think of it the other way: people will connect with you more easily if you have a bio, even if it isn’t that catchy.
We all feel a bit cooler with sunglasses on, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is when you hide behind them. When you end up putting only pictures of yourself with sunglasses on, it gives the impression you don’t want to show yourself. This creates a distance between you and your potential match.
The saying “eyes are the windows of the soul” and it is for a good reason. People want to see your full face, including what your eyes look like. The element of the face that makes us most recognizable is our eyes. By not showing your eyes, you are just showing you have low self-esteem and that isn’t very appealing. Your eyes are what makes you unique, so go ahead and don’t be afraid to show who you are.
Although it would be nice if people didn’t judge us so much on our looks, they do. This is specifically true for dating apps. This is why you should have enough pictures for people to be able to judge you. You should have more than three pictures if you want to show you are trustworthy. Having only a single picture isn’t very reassuring to start with.
Your future potential match will judge your profile in a matter of seconds. If they like the first picture, they will look at the other ones. If they aren’t enough pictures to maintain the interest long enough, they won’t swipe in the direction you want. It is as simple as that. The first step to getting someone interested in you is to provide a good presentation of yourself.
You have to choose several pictures, in different light settings and contexts. If you don’t have enough good photos, take the time to have a little photoshoot.
You’ve matched with someone you like, and you start talking. Even if you think this person is particularly interesting, you shouldn’t talk too much to them. Even if the conversation is good, don’t let it go on forever. The point of dating apps isn’t to have virtual relationships. You should be open to having a little conversation of course, but don’t overdo it.
Maybe you’ve been talking to this person for weeks but when you finally meet them there is no chemistry. You will feel disappointed if you invest too much into texting. To avoid wasting your time, don’t indulge in long virtual essays. You can have all the long conversations with this person after you meet if you want. We often start talking to someone on an app and then just stop for no real reason. Be proactive and when you’ve sensed this person seems worth meeting, just let them know you would like to see them in real life.
This mistake could be considered as the contrary of talking too much. Asking the person to meet in real life too early can also set the other person off. You may wonder when it is too soon to ask for a phone number? To start, never ask a number to start off a conversation. Don’t ask for it after only saying hey, what’s up (which is another one of our favorite mistakes also).
You should be your own judge, but we would recommend having at least exchanged 3 different sentences before asking for a phone number.
You’ve shown mutual interest via the matching but that’s all. Sharing your number is a bit on a different level. You usually share your number with someone you are willing to meet up with, with whom you want to extend the conversation a bit.
If you followed our advice, you now have at least three pictures on your profile. That is a great start, but it won’t guarantee you more matches. One of the most classic mistakes is having bad-quality pictures. Don’t take too many selfies. Your pictures shouldn’t only be selfies; even if they are in different contexts. A mirror selfie or a selfie at the gym is still a selfie. You should limit yourself to only two selfies.
Not a lot of people know this, but your phone camera distorts your face because of the small focal length. The longer the focal length is, the better your portrait will be. The wide lens on your phone makes your face less attractive than in reality. To limit this effect, try to have someone take your picture by a friend outside, or professionally. You should have examples of ‘’normal pictures” also if you want to avoid being accused of catfishing.
Statistics show that we collect way more dates than we actually start talking to. When we match with someone new, it releases dopamine in our brain. As a result, we are addicted to getting new matches, even if they go nowhere. The process of matching is exciting and we tend to overdo it, by matching with way more people than we can handle. By having too many options, we feel overwhelmed and wound up feeling bored and uninterested.
Be more selective, match with people with who you think you would honestly really want to meet. Don’t just match with someone to see if they liked you. This ego-boosting game gets old and will lead you to nowhere.
Think quality over quantity. By choosing the right people for you, you will find it easier to start talking to them. If you are feeling anxious about sending the first message, don’t overthink it. Your date won’t deeply analyze what you’ve said, and there is literally nothing at stake.
It is good to have a bio, and it is even better when it states what you are looking for on this app. Some people tend to take this too far by making a list of all their deal-breakers. They do this directly by saying what they don’t like or indirectly by describing their ideal partner. This is a bad idea.
You may appear as somebody too negative and too needy. If your profile can be resumed by all your dislikes, that’s a problem. Nobody will be interested in you if you don’t like anime or certain types of food. Some people will feel targeted by your description if they don’t fit in and you will lose a potential match.
Instead, you should show your interests in life, what you want in life and not only what you don’t want. Don’t just focus on negative aspects. As a bio is short, you don’t have time to explain that in fact you are not a negative person. Show what you could offer to people, and not just what you demand from others.
This kind of mistake includes different kinds of photos: group photos, pictures of your dog, sceneries, or memes. It is ok to have a couple of them, but people want to see you. They don’t want to have to play a game of who’s who in your group photos. You don’t have to prove you have a social life by any means either.
You can pick one or two group photos, but make yourself very visible and stick with small group photos. There is no point in showing other people, unless you have a shared account, which is unlikely. Pictures of your cute pets should also be limited. If your cat is present in each one of your pictures with you aside, that is a bit strange.
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