5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get Back To Your Ex

Everyone knows it’s a bad idea to get back to your ex. A lot of people try to though. Sometimes the reasons are very obvious, but you still feel you need that person. That feeling is perfectly normal, but you shouldn’t act on it impulsively.

Before even trying to get back to your ex, you should ask yourself why you actually want to get back to your ex. If you analyze the motives behind this desire, you will slowly stop wanting to be with this person. To help you through this difficult process, here are the 5 best reasons why you shouldn’t get back to your ex.

You are just seeking comfort

Every break-up hurts. Whether you are the one who initiated the break-up or not, it always hurts. Usually, it isn’t the one who broke up with the other who is trying to get back to their ex, but it also happens. In the moments following a break-up, you feel a lot of different emotions: sadness, anger, rejection, incomprehension, denial.

It is normal to seek ways to relieve yourself from your sorrow. In many ways, the process that follows a breakup resembles the process of mourning. In this case, though, the person that is out of your life is still alive, and the possibility for you to be with this person again exists.

You shouldn’t get back to your ex because you just want to feel good. Many people are just afraid of being alone and will do anything not to be. They aren’t necessarily truly in love with them anymore but are just feeling desperate. In most cases, you aren’t really longing for your ex, but for the way they made you feel.

You are missing the physical affection; the hugs, the kisses, the way they looked at you. Breaking up can lead to real symptoms of withdrawal. In a way, you were addicted to the love they were giving you, so it is normal to experience their absence as something overpowering.

It is too easy to relapse and seek back your ex, but you will most likely feel even more wounded than you did after the first break up. This emotional dependence will eventually cease gradually. In order for you to recover from your relationship properly, you should seek the emotional support of your social circle. By exposing yourself to a healthy environment where you can feel you are being loved and supported, you won’t feel as dependent. There are many venues for healing.

You are idealizing the relationship you had

Usually, people tend to feel very nostalgic after a break-up. You linger on all those memories you’ve gathered with time, going back and back at them painfully. This creates the illusion of the greatness of your relationship. You only concentrate on what was good and justify everything that was bad by these episodes.

Your relationship didn’t end for no reason. You should think again about all the reasons why it ended, and why it had to be this way. Your feelings won’t go away, but they will help you make the right decision about them. Don’t let your memories distort the reality of the situation. By only focusing on the positive aspects, you are getting attached to an idealized relationship that never happened. This will end up making you want to be with your ex even more.

It will never be the same again

Even if you’re able to get your ex back, things won’t go as they were at the beginning. Your relationship will go back to what it looked like in the end. Do you really want to go back to how things were at the end of your relationship? No matter how hard you tell yourself that this time it will be different, it won’t. You can’t just pretend that nothing happened and forget about all your history together.

All the past behaviors you or your partner have had will eventually emerge very soon. All the negative behavioral patterns are deeply ingrained in both of you. You cannot fix the disputes you’ve had out of goodwill. You have to take some time, far war from each other.

You may forgive people but still feel hurt inside. Deep down we aren’t ready to continue this relationship. In this case, you can’t force things to happen the way you would like them to happen.

In order to successfully get back to your ex, you would need a lot of time to recover from your relationship. Maybe that amount of time isn’t the same for your ex, and you will try to get back at the wrong moment for them. Even if it was the right moment for both of you, you probably won’t even be interested anymore in this person. After spending all that time trying to recover from a relationship with that person, it would be a shame to go back to the same person who made you feel that bad.

Your ex might not want to get back to you

There are many tips and tricks that are shared all over the internet about how you can get your ex back. A lot of articles are written about this, supposedly to help you reach your goal. Without even discussing if this goal is good for you or not, this logic of thought is deserving for you. By thinking you just want your ex back, you are simply putting aside the process of any kind of introspection that would enable you to grow.

Usually, these kinds of articles are based on manipulation tactics. Truth is, you can’t control how your ex perceives you. If your ex doesn’t want you anymore, why would you force it? Relationships occur naturally, if there is way more effort involved than it should, it is maybe time to reconsider the quality of your relationship.

You will lose time and energy trying to get back to them when there is little chance it would actually work out to something meaningful.

You won’t reflect on yourself and won’t grow

By getting back with your ex, you don’t have the opportunity to take the time to reflect deeply into every aspect of your life. The only good thing about break-ups is probably their capacity to make you realize things about yourself.

You might be thinking that you don’t want to be with someone else. You are only thinking about that one person, and everyone else seems uninteresting. That may be the case for now, but there will be a time where you will be more open to the idea. After a break-up, we see our relationship more clearly, but only if we are willing to let go of our ex. This clarity will bring us new knowledge about ourselves and potentially a better person.